Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
