he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
