I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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