Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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