I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
