Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
