oh god the rape fog is back!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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