:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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