Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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