I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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