i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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