I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
