How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
