thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The feeling are messing with the penis
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
