Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
