I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I believe in your delicious
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
