Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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