What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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