So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When did we convert life to cartoon?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
