All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
