i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
