ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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