Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
