? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
