just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
