Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
