her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
