puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
