More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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