Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Randomize
