it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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