is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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