Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
