Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
