I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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