I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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