Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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