i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
