i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
