I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
