Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
