I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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