Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
