Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
