I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
