Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
