I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
