normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
