You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
