I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
