u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
