when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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